Monday, April 25, 2011

revived

i realize i haven’t blogged in quite a while and as i sit here to write there are so many things i have at my fingertips begging to be documented. 
my mom came and left california. two weeks. it was a whirlwind. the visit had great times and rough times. all in all, i love my mom and i am trusting that God is going to heal her in His time. 
i got to host a fundraiser for relief efforts in Japan. the event was tons of fun, i learned a lot about the value of team, about how much i enjoy event planning (which was cool), and what amazingly talented people i’m blessed to know. the whole process was a great perspective shift and grew in me a heart of compassion for those who are hurting (hurting in every sense: spiritually, emotionally, socially, physically). plus we raised just over $3,000! thank you for all of your support!
i went back to hawaii for a week to see the closest thing i have to a sister get married. she is beautiful from the inside out, she made an exquisite bride and will be a wonderful wife. spending time with my girls was AWESOME! we surfed and ate and danced and slept then did it over again for about a week straight! i also got to have a really healthy and productive conversation with my family. difficult but really allowed me to let go of some things and turn my expectations for them into anticipation of what God can and will do in my parents as individuals, them as a married couple, and us as a little fam! 
those things are great and i’d still love to talk to all of you about them but all i want to write about is sunday. easter was different this year. the air was thick with excitement and awe at the miracle of salvation and forgiveness of sin and new life and power and the majesty and all-encompassing greatness of our God. there were a few moments throughout the day i had to take a step back and remind myself to breathe. 
sunday won’t make as much sense without knowing what preceded it.  well, i just mentioned what the last month looked like in a nutshell. but it started when i went for a walk on the beach by myself at home. God speaks to me so clearly through His creation. i watched the sun rising over the ocean and the sky is slowly painted in colors that took my breath away. i heard the waves surging in and out around my ankles and my toes were buried in the billions of grains of sand that have been hand carved by the same hands that hung on a tree to pay for my sin and i just wanted to fall over and call it a day. is this real? breathless, my smile said thank you to God as i had just interpreted the scene as His love letter to me. he whispered back, you think this is beautiful but you are the apex of my creation. i’ve never felt so secure, so loved, so willing to give it all to just be with Him. i got on a plane and came back to california later that afternoon. 
wednesday came quickly. He is worthy. and i have never been so blessed to exalt His name with so many other recklessly abandoned worshippers before. i saw breakthrough and freedom and adoration in the hands and faces of those i was surrounded by and it felt like a little taste of heaven. wow. 
thursday night was dark. hey dannah, remember what a scum bag you were? remember the people you hurt? remember the mess you made? it’s unlovable, it’s unforgivable, it’s unforgettable. ah! in and of myself those things are true but it’s almost friday and i know exactly what that means...
what’s better than good? great? awesome? aljhfliuajfliduahefliaewukjhlkjh? lets call it that. aljhfliuajfliduahefliaewukjhlkjh friday! it’s beyond good. it changed everything. it took all the things i am accused and guilty of on thursday night and disarms them and restores a right relationship with the creator of the universe. wow. friday is an ever more beautiful love letter to me than the walk on the beach was on tuesday morning. as i left the house for the good friday service. carlee (the beast) asked where i was going. i told her i was on my way to church and she said but it isn’t sunday. i explained what good friday was and asked if she was still gonna come with me sunday (wondered if she had changed her mind since her mom said no). she said she would come and asked, wait, isn’t easter when Jesus was born? i explained christmas was when Jesus was born and easter in when He raised from the dead. she was freaked out. what?! he was dead, then he wasn’t dead?! thats weird... knowing she perceives death as the worst thing that could possibly happen to her i told her Jesus has power over death. she said she wanted that. i sat down to chat but she wanted to talk about it later. so i left for church blown away by how God draws us to Himself. Lord, let it be so for my family!
i’ve never thought about sad saturday much before. this particular saturday i was working all day. i was listening to music and a song that says, “the same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me. You’re love that rescued the earth lives in me, lives in me”  came on. wow. He has given me great power that has come with a great responsibility/capacity to love. i want my family to know this power and this love. this power that breaks the bondage of sin and can raise death to life and can mend brokenness. this power that knows no bounds. this love that takes on every sin and hurt and injustice and hangs on a cross to pay for it. this love that accepts me exactly the way i am but loves me too much to leave me that way and transforms me to His perfect, beautiful will. this love that knows no bounds. saturday my aunt realized sunday was easter and apparently that and christmas are the two times she will go to church. so she decided her and the fam would come on sunday! :)
sunday is finally here! it started before dawn. 
CHRIST. RAISED. FROM. THE. DEAD. 
pause. 
think about that again. 
i want to be as awestruck as the beast was on friday. this is huge and i’ve allowed the resurrection to become common. it is anything but common. it is everything! 
CHRIST. RAISED. FROM. THE. DEAD.
i got baptized sunday morning at the beach. i met Jesus a while ago. i’m developing a relationship with Him. i’ve accepted Him as the only one who can save me from my sin and myself. i’ve surrendered my everything to His will. i’m committed to Him, to bringing His name glory, and to being emptied of me so others can see Him in me. baptism just seemed like the right thing to do. there is no other name i want to be associated with, there is no other cause i want to live for. i’m His and He is mine. it was an honor to publicly display the commitment i’ve made in my heart. i came out of the water with a renewed commitment to Christ and walking as the new creation He has made me. dannah, breathe.
through the creativity of nick benoit and the arts team, caleb and the worship team, and francis chan-Jesus hit this one out of the park! i was excited to hear the message before my family came for the eleven o’clock service. 
eleven o’clock rolled around i met my family in the parking lot. we sat down and the service started with a beautifully creative display of how when Jesus shows up-things change! the redundant purposelessness of life is broken and new life and freedom burst forth in colorful and often unexpected ways. dannah, breathe. i believe God spoke so clearly through francis chan. Lord, give us ears to hear. when the opportunity to respond rolled around my heart was about to beat out of my chest. it felt like my stomach was in my throat and i just wanted to know if they “got it”. i peered out of the corner of my eye. no one stood up. honestly, i was disappointed. i felt like i got kicked in the face. i was confused. Lord, why? He reminded me that their salvation is not my responsibility. He is drawing them to Himself. i will continue to love Jesus-they will see Him. 
the baptism started and my family left. bayley and her family were in the row in front of me and her family left at the same time. with the row to ourselves, we worshipped. my body couldn’t catch up with what was happening in my heart. dancing, tears, laughing, shouting, singing, stillness. he is worthy. dannah, breathe. 
exhausted-it was time for bed. bayley left and as i was brushing my teeth to hit the hay chase came back. he asked if we could talk. i had a feeling he wanted to talk about girls (something we have long talks about often...) and honestly wasn’t in the mood. there was a long pause and he broke the silence with “will you pray with me? i want to know God.” dannah, breathe. i started bawling. we sat on my bed and i told him what Jesus has done in my life and we read about when nicodemus sought Jesus in john 3 then we prayed together-a declaration of his need for Jesus, an acceptance of His gift of grace, and a commitment to live for Him. 

PRAISE. GOD.
ok, so i wrote about more than sunday, but my point in all this is that revival is here. 
it starts in our hearts. 

11 comments:

  1. dannnnnnaaah! this is AMAZING. I am so excited about your life right now! I loved being able to go through a little of this with you this weekend, like Third Wednesday and of course your baptism!! So much happened for you this week, as you know, but from an outside perspective I am seriously blown away by the work that God is doing in your life and in the lives around you. HE IS USING YOU. I pray that you will continue to be a vessel for Him and what He wants to do. Because you are so wonderful and filled with His joy and His love, you are allowing God to just REIGN. I love how you wrote that phrase out twice, "Christ Raised From The Dead." Like we talked about on Sunday morning at worship, THAT IS INSANE. We are so desensitized to those words and that is so sad. My prayer for you, and us, and Circles, and the Church is that we can, daily, be in awe of that reality. Let us be bold! I am so excited for these days to come in your life Dannah, so much to do and so much to learn. You are God's, so live in that freedom! Praise God.

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  2. REVIVAL IS HERE. IT STARTS IN OUR HEARTS.

    BAM.

    I LOVE this post. and I just love that you are writing this all out. SO MUCH of it absolutely resonates with me. I feel like we have a lot of similarities in how God is working ICK OUT of us and bringing HIM INTO us. I, too, have known Him for a long time, but NEVER like I do right now. : ) it's beautiful. I am so happy for you. because just like francis said on Sunday, don't you just want to make people SEE HIM??!! ahhhh, I totally was like YES!!! I wish I could show people LOOK AT HOW AMAZING JESUS IS because for real, how often we do dumb it down. Christ. Raised. From. The. Dead.

    BAM. Jesus doesn't fool around. ever. : )

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  3. AMEN to it all!!!!!

    CHRIST. DEFEATED. DEATH.

    in a world where death feels like this dark creature always on the prowl to come after you, Jesus kicked it in the face. Because we are in Christ, He grants us with the same power over the grave. He raises us from the dead. We can't. But He can. That is the whole story of everything related to Christianity after all, isn't it? Recognizing that HE can and we CAN'T. Praise God for even the baby steps that were made on Sunday, Dannah! (and i know you are praising Him for those little steps:) ) Because the foot is in the door now, it is all going to unfold according to His plan. You have served as an amazing servant and messenger, now continue to do and go where He leads. If that means continuing to water the plant that has been planted, do it:) But don't fear, someone else you don't even know could be placed in your family's life to water the seed you have planted. He is good. All the time. This was awesome, Dannah. SO stoked I got to be apart of some of it with you!!

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  4. Chase! That kid makes me smile; I'm so excited!!!!!!!! for him & you & the rest of your family. I love you and I am so incredibly grateful for you being in my life & the influence that you have & the joy & love you share so willingly. I am watching this amazing transformation in you happen right before my eyes and it is incredible. I am blown away by the Lord & His work in His life. I praise Him because of your willingness to chase after Him & His plan. So excited to continue this beautiful dance & life of worship with you. Cannnnnnn't wait to see you again. & last week was nearly perfect :) I agree. Easter is my new favorite.

    As we continue, know that I am willing to go to battle for you & when you are feeling crappy I'll remind you of God's love for you & how amazing you are. Iron sharpening iron please & thank you.

    Can I get some Activia please? lol LOVVVVVVVVVVE you.

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  5. aljhfliuajfliduahefliaewukjhlkjh of a post...it is a blessing to be able to see so clearly how God is working in your life and using you in the lives of those around you...friends and family alike. You are on a Spirit Led and Spirit Filled journey, and it is awesome!

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  6. So wonderful reading and hearing this story from you at life group on Monday. There is nothing greater than seeing God bring those we love towards him and I am so happy for you experiencing this right now with Chase. And also for your baptism. The Lord is AT WORK in you and those around you and it is INCREDIBLE!!!

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  7. hello, beautiful dannah. reading your processing of this made me so happy. it brings me so much joy to know that you are experiencing great joy, revival, love. thank you for allowing me to share in this with you. our joyousness dancing was such a wonderful expression and so refreshing and beautiful. you are an incredible woman with a blessed heart. i love you so.

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  8. You are so beautiful! I loved reading this and seeing how God has been actively been transforming you. I am so blessed to be a part of your life and to be encouraged by your joy and love for Jesus and you embracing HIs work in you. Your heart for people and for Jesus is so beautiful and I believe God has amazing plans for you and your passion. Sunday truly was one of the best days of my life. Thank you for letting me be a part of your baptism. I am so excited for Chase and I am excited to see how God works in the rest of your family. Love you so much and thanks for being a part of my life!

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  9. This was amazing. Looking back on it, it's really similar to what Darin talked about on Sunday. I really feel as though God is telling me the same message over and over again - that revival starts here, in our hearts. You are awesome, and God is awesome. I think I'll have to just think about this all night. Also, I miss Mondays!!

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  10. Ahhh! I've heard variations of this story like three times and I was there to experience part of it, but seriously I can't help but to cry when I read about both of your cousins experiences. I can't even begin to describe how filled with anticipation I am for their futures and I am so glad that God has literally placed you in their lives (practically in their backyard) to guide them on this path. I'm praying for you and for them! Thank you thank you tha k you for posting!

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  11. dannah i dont even know what to say. if i have to be completely honest, reflecting on the your blog and imagining your week and your mindset and your attitude and all that... i just want to glorify and praise God. dannah you're living a life thats a sweet and pleasing aroma to the LORD. youre faithfulness is so encouraging to me. your praises magically flow from your mouth, something like thick, slow motion foam that's all different amazing colors and they surround you and bring so much glory to God. seeing your heart and your simple TRUST in God through the difficult situations in your life are SO encouraging... i'm so stoked for your cousin! such a nice kid. He sought you out and straight up told you he wants to know God. what faith! the Holy Spirit totally called him and is going to work so much in his life! suuuuuuuuuch a good call going over John 3.... hahah Praise God. He is mighty to save.

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