Sunday, March 27, 2011

it was only a few years ago that i sat on the floor of my bedroom with the very broken pieces of my life scattered before me. at that moment i couldn’t comprehend how God was going to take my brokenness and shame and pain and turn it into something beautiful and something that would bring glory to Himself. in that moment, none of those things made sense and seeing beyond the mess was nearly impossible. two years later, i know it is true. i know that nothing is beyond the reach of almighty God. nothing is too far, nothing is too big, nothing is broken beyond His hand of restoration. i know it because He has proven it to be true in my own life. He took my brokenness and shame and pain and turned it into an identity that is complete in Him and confidence in being a daughter of the King and a heart that is whole and wholly committed to Him. 
life circumstances that have come to light this week have tested my trust that nothing is too big or too broken for the hand of God to make beautiful and bring glory to Himself. i look at the “hand that has been dealt” and am tempted to think this is too broken or too far beyond the hand of God. while my past doesn’t define me, it has played a significant role in shaping who i am and how i see life. in this case, God is using my past to remind me of His faithfulness, of His power, of the fact that He is God and nothing is beyond Him. 
but as is consistent with His character, He doesn’t just want to reiterate a lesson He has already taught me, but He wants more. i am choosing to entrust my circumstances and the corresponding fears and pain that come with that to God not because i know He has the ability to make them beautiful, but simply because He is God. i wrestled with Him this week and came out the other side out of breath and with an eerie freedom that came with my commitment to Him: whatever happens, if You choose to make this better or not, You have my heart. 

9 comments:

  1. Not because he has the ability to make them beautiful but because he is god ... Wow girl, that spoke truth and conviction to my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so encouraged by your trust in who God is and that He will carry you through this time. It is a good reminder to reflect on God's faithfulness We can barely see around us, but He knows all and what is ahead of us. We just have to learn to trust Him to walk us through it. I love your prayer at the end. I pray that God will continue to pour His love and healing on you. That you will be reminded that you are His beautiful daughter and He is your Abba Daddy :) Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "whatever happens, if You choose to make this better or not, You have my heart."

    This is where I need to be... Thank you for sharing. This is definitely convicting for me yet encouraging to see what great courage you have do endure such highs and lows.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dannah, you really spoke of things that I resonate with - allowing God to be glorified, no matter what happens, and his unconditional love for us that is more than enough.

    Sometimes we can get so caught up in the past that it brings this discouragement to the point where we can barely look at ourselves. But everything is placed in our lives in that He may ultimately be glorified. We need more of Him and less of ourselves.

    Thank you so much for your encouragement and for highlighting these ideas that I have been thinking about lately!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dannah, you amaze me. These words are incredibly. You're faith and trust in the Lord is astounding (yes, trying to think of adjectives).

    "whatever happens, if You choose to make this better or not, You have my heart. " I am asking God to make it better, to help you find truth, healing, love, understanding.

    I just love you. The end. Can we please laugh together again o very soon!

    ReplyDelete
  6. "while my past doesn’t define me, it has played a significant role in shaping who i am and how i see life. in this case, God is using my past to remind me of His faithfulness, of His power, of the fact that He is God and nothing is beyond Him."

    It is so true that our past does not define us but is a part of who we are today. I can see this in my life too. I thank God for my past because I feel like I am the person I am because of it. I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for sharing Dannah! I had an AMAZING time last night!

    ReplyDelete
  7. your last line... I almost cried. this is what I have been saying but in a different way. I have been saying that I know Your will is best so I pray for it, and please empty me of myself to be wholly Yours... that's a glimpse. I just want to cry because your prayer is my prayer and it hurts, dannah, but it is SO good. so I know it is so hard, but we see how He is faithful and good! So we can trust Him, and be encouraged that you are not walking this alone. we may have different circumstances, but our hearts are singing the same songs, and that is what this is all about. total surrender is hard, but I know it is worth it. Our God is worth it. keep pressing in.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "nothing is too big or too broken for the hand of God to make beautiful and bring glory to Himself."

    "He doesn’t just want to reiterate a lesson He has already taught me, but He wants more."

    These two quotes are something that stuck out to me and I really think they are quite brilliant. Great things to keep in mind. I am glad to see the progress that it seems you have made and that is something that is a great thing. Keep it up! and as always we are here for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. i just took the deepest breath after this, because it is so beautiful and truth is so apparent in it. you have a beautiful way of articulating yourself. i love the image of you sitting on the bedroom floor. it's amazing how even when we do have such little faith, God works and moves and changes our lives around it is a precious and very beautiful thing.

    ReplyDelete